The worst roommate of all time
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The Woman Who Should Not Exist
When Siobhan and I returned to San Francisco from Manhattan (via Savannah and Bethesda) Gordon had lost a roommate so we moved in with him. He warned us about the remaining roommate.
The first time I saw Carol Mitchell she came home, put a frozen food-like product in the oven. She didn't remove the pasteboard box. After a few minutes it unsurprisingly burst into flame.
She had a frightening way with food and its simulacra. Her regular dinner was macaroni and mixed vegetables. She'd put it on the stove and fitfully stir at it for a little while. Then she'd eat it. Half-frozen, half-charred.
She had pre-shaped hamburger patties in the freezer. Mold was growing on them. I've known people to keep meat in the freezer for years without problem. This was a scientific puzzle. Perhaps her own horrific exudations had clung to the burgers.
Before we moved in Gordon, who called her "The Beast," had repeatedly warned me. Having known all sorts of awful people I just laughed at him. He was right.
In body and soul Carol was unsettlingly repugnant. It wasn't just that she was fat and ugly. Lots of swell people are and you never notice it. But Carol's body, her every movement, seemed malignant.
She did not bathe, preferring to just keep spraying scents on herself. It was as if a garbage truck had collided with a perfume store. Odd splotches of filth were in the bathroom sink. We never dared ask what they were.
She kept girls' nurse romances under that sink. The girl's goal was to find a handsome Doctor, settle down to her real job, being a Mrs. rather than caring for the sick.
Her bedroom looked like it'd been in an earthquake with everything spilling over and leaning against everything else. But she knew where everything on. Early on I borrowed a book. Coming home I found a threatening note calling me a theif and demanding that I return the book.
She'd been married and had a kid. I don't know if she was allowed to see her child. There's no guessing how a mother like that would've affected a kid.
My account of her is cruel. It gets worse. Go to another page if you are a softie.
Once when going out for an evening Gordon left Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music on his record player. The record was designed to never end. It played for hours over and over again with her in the next room.
Even worse.
One evening Gordon and I got very drunk. In the late hours we regaled her through the wall (which was mostly dividing doors that were blocked) with our plans to cut off her fingers. I don't remember what else we said. It was probably worse. I've never done anything so heartless to another person.
She never said a word.
The last blow was our departure from San Francisco. We left a note taped to her door letting her know that we'd moved and the flat and all $600 a month plus utilities were hers. (Even though this was in San Francisco, the Mission District it was cheap rent in 1983.)
Yep, this was mean. Awful. What have you. I don't feel a particle of repentance. Even Siobhan who was pretty tender-hearted didn't feel any pity.
The only use for Carol Mitchell would've been to sell her to Tobe Hooper or Wes Craven for another horror movie about sociopaths who delight in torturing people (with her as the sociopath).
Comments
lol for a moment there, I read it as youre happily gay, then homophobic.
We used to have a room mate who loved patulie oil and did not bathe, Eventually she did start because she had to but for a while it was pure UGGG
Posted by: FelinePersuasion | November 27, 2004 3:06 PM
My boyfriend and I had a place of our own with our 2 children and our lease was about to expire.We had no plans of renewing and we planned on getting a 2 bedroom apartment some place else. My boyfriend’s friend seperated from his wife and wanted to move in with us to get away from his wife and her family. Well, he lived with us a month and a half before our lease at our old place expired. There was one problem at the time that we did have with him. One day, I woke up to find him sleeping on the sofa with the television, dvd player and television on. Besides that, everything was fine until we got a three bedroom townhouse at our new place. He was such a pest. He went to complain over the pettiest of things at the apartment complex. He complained about a pair of blinds that his little mutt destroyed and lied and said that it was like that when we moved in which was a lie so that way the blinds could be replaced. He didn’t bother to put a deposit fee on the dog and boldly paraded that dog around the complex everytime he had to walk him. The dog would snap at people as he walked him.He whined about a tiny spot in the carpet which was barely visible. He whined to the point that they had to send a carpet cleaning service to take out a stain which look bleached and no larger that a golf ball out. He also complained of the tub that was full of dog hair and stains from when he never cleaned it built up in it and said that it was like that when we moved in which was totally false as well.When complex sent a crew to put a new finish on the tub, we had to leave the apartment for hours with our windows open to air out the chemicals from it. He never cleaned dishes he ate out of, he never cleaned the kitchen floor. I’d sweep up more dog hair than dirt. I don’t know how he managed to get dog hair in the refrigerator but he did. He lived off of credit cards top pay all of his bills. He also sold his own blood to pay his bills. He’s be so exhausted by selling so much blood, that he’d be out like a light sometimes. He washed clothes like everyday and would leave the laundry area full of dog hair even in the lint catcher. He never took out trash that needed to be taken out. We had concierge trash removal service. All he had to do was put the garbage in the dispenser outside and he couldn’t even do that. He was very rude, selfish, and disrespectful. We sacrificed our privacy to help him out and this was the thanks we got. When I questioned him about things like cleaning the floor, an arguement would easily be brought about. He didn’t have enough courtesy to scram when your guest came to see us and not him. He’d get out of his room with that little mutt and try to flirt with your them and or talk them to death about lies he’ll never make real. He’d eat the food that I buy for my children and lie about it. There were times that I caught him red handed. He wants to hang out with your friends and turn them against you. That’s why he has no friends. He also never bothered to pay me for my phone bill. All I askd for was $10 dollars to contribute since he always tied up my phone to be on the internet for hours. Do you think that he ever did it? No! He talked to girls on the internet telling them a pack of lies and driving to the end of the earth to go meet them. I did end all of that though I made sure that he never tied up my phone again. He also had no common sense about safety. He used to stay up really late walking that dog 3,4,5 in the morning around the complex with the doors unlocked. No matter how safe you think a place is, you should always be cautious. I had to tell him to stop that and lock the door behind him no matter what becase my boyfriend was too chicken to tell him but he whined about all of his valuable electronics being at risk of being stolen. I was concerned for our safety as well. I didn’t want to be attacked my boyfriend nor my children to be attacked because of his negligence.There were times after this, I’d still catch that door unlocked when we came back from shopping, etc. When we ate food, he’d come out of his room watching us eat. What was he thinking? Does he think that I’m going to offer him a bite? Last time I checked,I had a family of 4, not 5. Well, in about 27 more days our lease will be ending and he will not be living with us anymore.He has such a hard time trying to find a place because he works under the table and his income can’t be verified. Someone called here the other day…I guess he lied and said that he worked someplace he didn’t and gave the landlord the house number telling the landlord that it was his employement number. He even had the nerve to call my sister who just got married and asked to live with her. When she told me this, I was like oh my god! He even tried to flirt with my sister several times and tried to get smart by asking to take a shower at her house so he could try to do you know what. I joked with my sister and told her, he must think that she was going to jump in his arms and fall madly in love with him when he came out the shower or something. What did he think he was at, Melrose Place? He has no build what so ever. He looks like a blob of melting clay with hair. I used to always tell him that he needed to shave himself because he looked like a werewolf. He reminds me of a pack of broken biscuits. You know how it is when you buy the pack in the can and how the dough spreads when you tear the paper. See how it expands out. That’s exactly how he is with his build, but full of fat. I guess he tried to find a way to be compensated for himself volunteering to fix her car. He also admitted to trying to flirt with the leasing woman hoping that she could help him pull a few strings into getting an apartment.It didn’t work. He also tried to ask his 2nd wife who is a very smart, nice, and educated woman to move back into the house until he found a place but she said that she sold it. She had paid all of the house payments when he decided to leave her high and dry so I doubt he’s getting any money from the sale of that house. He told my boyfriend that he’s shacking up with some girl who he barely knows. When she finds out how he is, he’ll be right back out the door again. All he wants is a girl who can take care of him financially so he can sit back and take credit for something he didn’t contribute to. Who does he think he is, King Tut? Well, he should have tried to work things out with his wife because he was living good when he was with her. She is a very beautiful person and could do better than him anyway. She’s a good Catholic woman and he’s a no good atheist. That’s why all of these bad things are happening to him. Well, that goes to show the ironic side of trying to lend a helping hand…you only end up getting slapped by it. I’ll never help out a “Friend” again. This friend turned out to be a “FIEND”
Posted by: Andrea | April 3, 2005 10:54 PM