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Why I call myself pansexual

• Richard Evans Lee

Entry below superceded by: Pansexual, my definition

This is a quickie reponse that I made in a Yahoo eGroup. Not satisfied with it as an explanation of why call myself pansexual instead of bisexual or simply queer. This is a handy place to save the note in case I feel like developing it some day.

When I realized that I could find women attractive for a time I identified as bisexual. Online I kept getting hit on by married men who were looking to cheat on their wives. They seemed to think the label 'bisexual' implied some sort of bond. That gave the word when applied to me a taint if you will.

I also became unhappy with the word bisexual because it implies a binary sexuality: men or women. That ignores the varies shadings of sexuality among people who crossdress. And transsexual people who may be at any stage of modifying their physical gender to bring it closer to the sexualy identity of ideal. And intersexual persons whose genetic gender isn't conventionally male or female.

There are people I find erotically desirable, physically and/or emotionally, who don't fit either gender norms. So I like pansexual to reflect my pleasure in all permutations of gender identity and bodily configuration.

Richard Evans Lee
December 03, 2002 •
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Looking at my last entry I regretted that Word’s grammar checker isn’t smarter. I enjoyed typing it so I won’t fret about looking like an illiterate. I’ve been enjoying a stretch of time by myself. Charles hasn’t been sleeping lately. [Read More]

Tracked on May 15, 2003 06:19 PM

Comments

*hugs* thank you:( when I thought of myself as bi i still felt weird because I didnt just like men or women... this has helped me out. Thank you.

Posted by: Samantha | March 26, 2004 10:42 PM

Sometimes labels can be a hindrance, other times they can be clarifying. Thanks.

Posted by: Richard | March 27, 2004 04:20 PM

I agree, 'bisexuality' does carry a definite taint to its name. I've found this over the years and it has been topic of discussion with some of my close friends, people I've just met, and with my parents. I usually associate with being bisexual, but I'll more often than not date men. I find all the crazy, clingy women and I just can't seem to find any sort of 'real' intelligence. Besides the point. Anyway, as a bisexual, I find it hard sometimes to get across the point that I enjoy people for who they are, I fall in love with that person, not with their genitalia. I can enjoy both equally regardless of their sex. I find, with this bisexual label, that I have a hard time dating other bisexual females because it seems to be more of a trendy thing for young women, rather than a serious way of life and love. If perhaps there were some other label, like your pansexual label (which is a good one, but I dont think I'd be able to branch out that openly sexually) I'd gladly accept it. Just thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.. :) Thanks for listenin..

Posted by: Jade | August 4, 2004 02:33 AM

Trendy young women sound better than the married men I used to run into online.

Posted by: Richard | August 4, 2004 02:05 PM

How do you feel?

Feel free to share your feelings about Why I call myself pansexual. Please stick to the theme of the entry. Disagreement is fine. Homophobia, racism, and kindred expressions of hatred will be deleted. This site is one of my hobbies. I genuinely enjoy hearing from people and hate moderating or killing comments. Forthright disagreement is fine as long as it is civil.
My thanks,
Richard

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